Life includes beauty and pain, and mine has included some pain recently. No one wants to suffer. Choosing not to move on is a way of suffering long-term. Choosing to move on is hard.. sometimes letting yourself sink deeper into hopelessness feels easier.
But I am a strong, independent, loved woman. Christ is right by my side and has not left. I am not giving up yet! My life is just beginning! Today's the first day of the rest of my life. There is so much yet I want to do... why would I give up?
I want to help people. Lots of people have helped me recently, and I'm very thankful. I want to move on and be strong and help others.
It's easy to quote forgiveness and love as being important in the Christian lifestyle. But when you actually have to live it out in a real situation, things feel messy and awkward and unfair. I won't be perfect, but I don't want to live in hatred. It would hurt me more than I could ever hurt anyone.
If I could do things over again, I would want to. But I know God sees the big pictures and I pray there is something from the pain that will help me to help someone else later in life. I pray the strength I gain from these growing experiences will make me a stronger person who won't give up.
I praise God that student-teaching is going so well. That my family and friends are hear to dry my tears, distract me, and remind me of the big picture. That I have some amazing options for my future.
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