So, of course I'm excited about going to Japan, but I'm also slightly terrified. I think "nervous excitement" is a good description of my feelings. I have been awful with studying Japanese this summer and I'm getting scared for how I'll get by in the beginning. I really want to learn and be respectful and everything and not speak English all the time, but I just can't motivate myself to study now when I want to maximize my remaining time with my friends, Harrisonburg, and speaking Spanish. Between work and going out I'm not home that much to study and who feels like studying at 1 am when you finally get home?
Plus despite all my research on Japanese culture and everything, I know that experiencing it is just going to be so different, and I'm not going to be with a big group of Americans much of the time like I was during my study abroad semester. Yes, I know there will be other foreign teachers, but I don't really know them yet and I know the first few weeks of feeling new and out of whack might be stressful.
But that's okay. Overall I'm an optimistic person, but it is good for me to be realistic about stress and challenges. I hate it when that takes you by surprise.. like how I expected my first few weeks of college to be a blast, but they were really hard because I didn't have any friends yet and everything was different.
And that's why I'm writing this on the blog... these are honest emotions I'm feeling, and it seems like so many other people are 100% excited! and happy! I could accurately describe myself as 100% nervous excitement. I think it's normal to feel some doubts because I don't know what to expect... other than adventure, claro!
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